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Most advice columns written for new students are filled with a series of things to do in order to get the most out of your undergraduate experience. They’ll tell you to join a club, become a fully fledged goal setter, and get some exercise. What most such lists will not tell you is what you shouldn’t do, or what you should avoid so you don’t find yourself hating your new life. As someone who had what amounted to a largely pathetic and unfulfilling run as a student, I’d like to share with you just three simple things not to do as you embark on this highly overrated transition.
1.Do Not Waste Your (Or Your Parents') Money
Almost without exception, most of you will come upon a time where you feel less motivated than you ever have before. Boring first year courses can be the death of many a young academic career. While it may be tempting to completely shit the bed, or do the absolute bare minimum to survive, remember above all just how much money you are putting into this. I’m not saying that you need to become a complete introvert who puts their studies above every other facet of their lives, I’m saying you will regret not making use of the facilities at your disposal. In this regard, the best advice, particularly in the early going, is this: just try a little. Either you are paying your own way through school (in that case, likely through hideous student loans), or your parents are footing the enormous bill. If you are someone launching yourself into huge amounts of debt, trust me, you will no matter what, absolutely detest paying them off. It will only feel that much worse if you wasted your insanely precious time. Speaking from experience, it feels much like it would if you bought a $40,000 car, refused to fill it with gas and decided against paying insurance, only to watch the car sit in your driveway and four years later, choosing to smash it to pieces with a golf club or a baseball bat. If you are lucky enough to have your parents paying for you, the lesson is simple: do not be an asshole to your parents. Just try a little.
2.Do Not Stay With Your High School Sweetheart
This is paramount to having what passes as a decent social life as a student. Sure, you might think that Billy or Susie really is the one, but I assure you they are not. What they are is a huge headache. When you can’t go out because you have to spend the night talking to them on the phone about how you can’t go out, you have failed. You will be known as the moron in the high school relationship, and your chances of that being respected by your peers is about the same as the likelihood of your studies in English lit proving conclusively that the world is in fact flat. You will just end up hating that person anyways, so do yourself a favour and wave goodbye. If you are reading this too late, and you’ve made promises to your high school lover already (ones that you will cringe at in a matter of months, if not weeks), all is not lost. Just leave yourself completely open to cheating on them, because you can rest assured they are doing precisely the same thing. I know one person who made it through his entire undergrad while dating his high school girlfriend. They have already been married and divorced, and to get over the trauma of it all, he went on a roadtrip in the southern U.S. eating at all the best barbecue joints. Avoid becoming that couple.
3.Do Not Panic When It Comes To Making Friends
One dangerous trap to fall into in your first year is to make friends out of necessity and by proximity. Upon your arrival you might not know a single person, and the temptation will be there to cling to the first group of people who ask you where you are from and what you are taking. Do not go down this sometimes comforting path. There are thousands of people at this new school of yours. You do not need to become friends with people simply because they are standing there. If you hang out with someone once or twice and find them incredibly annoying, just stop socializing with them. They’ll recover and so will you. If your floor is full of people you can’t stand to be around, don’t be around them. Friendships have a way of forming quickly in these environments, so make sure not to spend too much time with people you are just pretending to enjoy. Otherwise, in no time, you’ll be making plans to live with them in second year, and before you know it, you’ll just be a different kind of lonely. People you like hanging around with are out their somewhere, so just take a deep breath, relax, and tell the guy who spends 40 hours a week playing Dungeons and Dragons that you’re just not that into him.
Good luck to all. V
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