distance, and about five minutes of torture porn at the end. Got
it? Don’t watch it. [AD]
3) 10,000 B.C. - The story of a cavehusband trying to find his
cavewife isn’t good fantasy or action. There are numerous
stupefying logic gaffes (cavewife whisked away to giant boats so
the hero can’t catch her? Why don’t you follow the river?!) and silly
junk like the Mystic Old Woman (tm) who stares at a fire and
reacts with psychic pain. It also has dinosaurs living with
humans. Uh, right. [AD]
2) Shutter - Another pointless Asian horror remake that isn’t
remotely scary. It’s something about seeing ghosts in photos…
aw, who cares? Everything about this movie is sub–par, from the
shoddy direction and a lack of terror, to “stars” that include Pacey
from “Dawson’s Creek” and Must–See– NBC’ers like Ando from
“Heroes” and Roy from “The Office.” [AD]
1) Disaster Movie - And this is how Friedberg and Seltzer do
worse. Disaster Movie is about a bunch of idiots walking down the
street into various pop-culture references. If Spartans had seven
laughs, this movie has two. And those are chuckles. Here’s the
secret to the cinematic turds out these guy squeeze out:
Friedberg and Seltzer watch the movie trailers and then write
“parodies” that are just the freakin’ trailers again! Disaster
indeed. [AD]
and now for Laura’s Top 25 DVDs released in 2008...
Surfwise • This intriguing as well as interesting documentary
follows the life and times of the Paskowitz family. In the ‘60s, the
family’s father, Dorian “Doc” Paskowitz, decided to drop out of
regular life, become a surfer and move across the country in a
camper with his ever–growing family. The film features all nine of
the Paskowitz children as well as Doc Paskowitz himself
recounting their life. This film will make you want to hug your
parents a little harder the next time you see them which makes it
